BEREMEMBERED

The following suggestions are derived from a formula hit on by the Mediterranean’s first civilization.

HOW TO BE REMEMBERED
AFTER FIVE THOUSAND YEARS

If you wish to be remembered after five thousand years, the most important thing you must do is strive to escape devastation. Obviously, something must survive. If it is too small a thing, it could be overlooked or discounted. So you must achieve greatness in some way.

Here lies the glory of the monument. Build something very large in stone, and you will have a chance in case of flood or fire; the larger, the better. Use the largest stones that can possibly be moved and manhandled. Stones that are easy to move will be taken down by later people who are too lazy to quarry for themselves. Your memory could easily be lost in a rubble wall or vanish into the structure of the flashy temples of foreigners who are sure to come after you are gone.

If you wish to be remembered well, do not be defeated by an enemy. The victors of war will take credit for all that you have achieved. This will happen if they like what you have achieved. If they do not like it, they will destroy it and you will be forgotten forever. Or they might say terrible things about you and your memory will turn into something dark. If you must leave, the best thing is to hide your greatness in isolation so that it is forgotten for a while. You can expect that it will fall apart somewhat. Don’t worry. If you have done it greatly and properly, someone will find it.

But don’t expect them to understand what they find after five thousand years. It is not possible. It will help somewhat if you decorate your greatness. Paint it. Carve it. Fill it with your things. Leave many details with which to more fully remember you.

Five thousand years will eat up wood and textiles and skins and hairs and fingernails. These will not be remembered. If you have pressed a leaf or an object into wet clay and baked that clay, however, and if that baked pottery is protected in your greatness, it will be a good memento.

Statues are wonderful mementos. Carve them from stone and hide them. They may be animals or people. If they are beautiful, it will be better. If they are small, it will be better. A statue that is too large may be lost, even if it is beautiful. Foreign people coming after you do not want your statues and will not value them, although they may be afraid of them. This is a very difficult truth which must be twice stated. If you want to be remembered after five thousand years, it is best to be forgotten for at least one thousand years; sometimes more.

We must speak of gold. Things that shine are attractive, but they are risky things, likely to be stolen before anyone wants to remember you. It has worked for some, but if you have things of gold, you may as well take them with you. People will obliterate your remains to get at your shiny things.

Be cautious of what you bury in soil and what you place where soil can gather. If you put your things too deeply in soil, they may be confused with the things of people who came before you. (Almost always, even if you don’t remember them, other people came before you.) Also, do not mix the mementos of others with your things. This can make someone who finds your things look like a fool and your memory could be reduced or diluted. If you put things in a cave or in an underground chamber or in a sealed tomb, it is better. Don’t worry. No one will really know what you did with these things, although you may be amused to know what they will think you did.

Oh yes…

If you can leave your bones in a dry place that is not too hot, it will be very good. When they find them, for sure you will be remembered, even after five thousand years.